Sympathy Flowers

Choosing Sympathy Flowers

Sympathy flowers don't need to be grand to mean something. The most fitting choices are soft, quiet, and elevated: white lilies, roselilies, calla lilies, white ranunculus, garden roses, and hydrangea in colors and shapes that bring calm into a hard week. Every arrangement in this collection was chosen for exactly that, and each one is designed by hand and delivered with a card for your message.

If words are the hard part, we've written a guide to what to write in a sympathy card.

A peace lily is a meaningful choice too — a living reminder that you're thinking of them long after the week of the service has passed.

What Makes a Flower Appropriate

White and soft neutrals are the traditional choice, and the tradition is practical as much as symbolic. Pale flowers read as calm in a room that already holds a lot. They don't compete with anything, and nobody has to have an opinion about them.

What the usual choices have come to mean:

• Lilies carry the strongest association with sympathy of any flower, and have for centuries. They're read as a return to peace and innocence.
• White roses stand for remembrance and quiet respect, and they're the surest choice when you don't know the family well.
• Calla lilies are the most architectural of the group: one clean line, no fuss. Right for someone whose taste ran modern.
• Hydrangea signals gratitude and heartfelt feeling, and a single stem fills a vase without looking arranged.
• Ranunculus are layered and soft, closer to a peony than a rose, and they hold up a long time in water.

Color is sometimes the right call instead. If you knew the person, and you know they would have found a room full of white flowers unbearably solemn, send the thing they actually loved. Nobody has ever been offended by a bright arrangement sent with a sincere note.

You can explore all of our neutral flowers and arrangements if you'd like to see a larger variety. 

When and Where to Send Them

Short answer: there's no wrong time. Sympathy flowers are traditionally sent to the home — before the service, after it, or weeks later, when other friendly gestures have stopped and the quiet has set in. Some of the most appreciated flowers are the ones that arrive late, precisely because they say still thinking of you.

Farmgirl's sympathy collection is designed for home delivery. We ship nationwide to the lower 48, excluding Hawaii, Alaska, and Puerto Rico. Delivery timing varies by arrangement and address, so check the delivery calendar on any product page to see the dates available for that zip code, including next-day options.

Caring for Sympathy Flowers

Written for whoever ends up with the flowers, not for the person who sent them. A grieving family has no attention to spare, so this is the short version.

The first ten minutes

Cut about an inch off each stem at an angle before the flowers go in water. The angle keeps the cut end off the bottom of the vase so the stem can actually drink. Strip any leaves that would sit below the waterline — submerged leaves rot, and rot feeds the bacteria that blocks stems.

Lily pollen stains, and it's avoidable

Lily anthers — the pollen-bearing tips inside the open flower — will mark fabric and skin, and on anything woven the stain is close to permanent. Pinch them out with a tissue as each flower opens. It takes a few seconds, the flower looks just as good without them, and it saves a tablecloth.

Keeping them going

Change the water every two or three days and re-cut the stems a little each time. Keep the vase out of direct sun and away from a fruit bowl — ripening fruit gives off ethylene, which makes flowers drop faster.

Sympathy Flowers FAQ

What flowers are appropriate for sympathy?

White and soft neutral flowers are the traditional choice for sympathy: lilies, white roses, ranunculus, calla lilies, and hydrangea, which have long symbolized peace and remembrance. Bright, celebratory colors are usually saved for other occasions. When in doubt, soft whites and creams are always appropriate.

What's the difference between sympathy flowers and funeral flowers?

Sympathy flowers are sent to the grieving family's home as a personal gesture of support, and can be sent at any time. Funeral flowers — standing sprays, casket arrangements, wreaths — are formal pieces displayed at the service itself. Farmgirl's collection is sympathy flowers for home delivery, where flowers can offer comfort for days rather than hours.

Is it too late to send sympathy flowers after the funeral?

No. Sympathy flowers sent days or even weeks after a loss are entirely appropriate, and often especially meaningful: they arrive after the early wave of support has faded, and remind the family they are still being thought of.

What should I write in a sympathy card?

Keep it simple and sincere: acknowledge the loss, share a memory if you have one, and offer support without asking anything of them. Something as short as “I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I'm thinking of you, and I'm here” does the job. Our guide to what to write in a sympathy card covers more, including what to say when you didn't know the person well.

How much should you spend on sympathy flowers?

There is no required amount, and the gesture matters far more than the price. A modest arrangement with a sincere note means more than a grand one without. Spend what your relationship with the family makes feel right — this collection spans a range of budgets.

Are flowers always the right thing to send?

Not in every tradition. Jewish funeral custom generally does not include flowers; food sent to the home, a donation in the person's memory, or a shiva visit are the customary gestures instead. Practice varies between communities, so the family's own wishes are the thing to follow. If the family has passed along a preference, follow that.

Shop Sympathy Flowers by Type

• Send white lilies, the flower most associated with sympathy
• Choose garden roses for quiet remembrance
• Send hydrangea when one stem should carry the whole vase

Shop Other Flower Collections

• Send flowers wrapped in burlap, our signature look
• Browse the Under $70 collection for a smaller gesture
• Browse arrangements with free shipping
• See what ships next day when the date is tight
• Shop Christina's Favorites florals
• Choose pet-friendly flowers and plants for a home with animals
• Browse all flower arrangements